Training Part 2 – that ended up being anything BUT Training Part 2 – saving it for Part 3….

Once upon a hot Weipa night, while working for the most retarded boss in the entire world (that, by the way, is Fact -  not Opinion – ask anyone), I decided that it was time to hand back my glock, hang up the handcuffs and file my pile of official notebooks. I was done. No longer could I ignore the fact that the crooks had more brain-cells than the head-honcho and that was too much for this police-girl to bear.

So I put on my thinking cap and made a decision to re-train myself and pick a new career – couldn’t be that hard could it?? While flicking through magazines in order to find my next venture, I stumbled across an ad for the NT Police. Nothing really caught my eye until I got to the paragraph containing the wages. From that point on, I just knew it was the perfect job!! For Rob!! Didn’t take too much to sell the idea to him and before we knew it he had appointments for testing, followed by an interview in Brisbane and then it was the agonizing wait for the phone call. I guess it’s no secret that the phone call did come and he was so excited he used lights and sirens to pull me over while I was driving home from the shops – which looked sorta stupid in a town the size of Weipa. Rob is a pretty laid-back sort of a guy but he was fizzing with this news. He gushed out that we were moving to “the Territree!!”. I was terribly excited and asked which station he was posted to. Rob, “Ummm – I don’t actually know. I forgot to ask!” We quickly decided it was important enough to call straight back and ask. I noticed Rob was a touch cagey when he came back to me and I demanded to know where we were going to live in this Territree place. “Umm – yeah – well. We’ve been posted to Katherine – woohoo!!!” Right. Katherine. No idea. Never heard of it. Google maps was immediately consulted and we instantaneously decided to appeal the decision!! Like hell was I moving to ButtCrap Nowhere!!! Which is quite funny considering we lived in Cape York in a remote town of 3,000 people and even more crocs than humans…..

After the initial shock, we gave in to the Universe and decided we would hold our heads high and enter Katherine with a good attitude. Easier for me as I could see myself living a life of leisurely luxury!! But just in case I got bored, I decided to press on with my new career – and it seemed sensible to stick to what I loved most … training. So I signed up online to do my Certificate 3 & 4 in Personal Training. The cost was in the few thousands so I wanted to succeed and make it a viable ‘thing’ to do. I remember working my shifts and then listening to the tutorials while getting the kids’ dinners, or doing the housework. I was seriously addicted to the learning – the nutrition especially intrigued me and I couldn’t get enough of that stuff. The course was a pleasure to complete and I’m quite surprised at how negative a lot of people are during their courses. Maybe I lucked in with the course I used.

So in late February 2011, I finished up my police career and I thought it was for good. It was a very strange feeling after 13 years and such huge personal investments into that job. Not to mention I had married a policeman and we had three little police babies. We had worked in a few places in NZ and then transferred our skills to Qld where we had worked in Logan (another story!!) before relocating to the Cape. Just to be keep things interesting right to the end, my last week in ‘the job’ included two quite funny and memorable incidents;

#1 – The Dolphin Incident

So we are working in this funny little town in the middle of nowhere. Only two of us worked at any given time and we had no radio coms to anywhere so decisions sometimes had to be made – even the really hard ones. I like decision making most times.

I remember that particular Saturday evening shift. It was typical steamy heat and we knew that as soon as the sun started setting, the mosquitos would be out in full force. Those mozzies absolutely love the taste of my blood so I would usually drench myself in repellent the minute they started buzzing. It hadn’t gotten to that stage yet so it must have all kicked off maybe around 4pm. We got a call saying that someone staying at the local resort had seen a beached dolphin and she was really concerned about its welfare. We were asked to head down to the general area and see what had happened. Police are very used to receiving information that often turns out to be vastly different from the reality so I fully expected to see a dolphin – but I thought it would be wallowing in the shallows.

What we arrived to see was a huge dolphin lying up on completely dry land, hundreds of metres from any water. It was almost comical to see it in such an unnatural state. We had huge king tides in Weipa so it was reasonable that the dolphin had come in with the tide and that’s where it stayed while the water ran out.

We took stock of the position and then, as we got closer, we could see the poor thing was in a terrible state with its breathing loud, shallow and laboured. Along with that I swear it was crying – reminded me of how turtles look when they are caught and brought it on the boats, they have what look to be tears streaming down their lil cheeks. Back to the dolphin – we had information that the locals had tried to get it back in to the water but it returned with the tide and seemed to beach itself a second time. No one could do any more with it and the tourists at the resort were very distressed by its poor condition and state.

It was very apparent to me (and anyone with half a brain) that the dolphin had to be put down. And that’s where things started getting untidy. Dolphins are a protected species and police organisations sometimes try to please everyone just a bit too much in my humble opinion. I decided I would shoot it and put it out of its misery. I checked with the locals (dolphins having a significance to Aboriginal culture) and they didn’t mind, in fact they were supportive of the proposed action. I spoke to the Cairns boss and he agreed. I spoke to a Sea World vet and he too agreed, telling me that dolphins beached themselves when in distress.

In conjunction with the apparent distress of the dolphin, we also had critical logistical issues closing in on us. We were in a mangrove area and the sun was setting. The gazillion mosquitos were out in force and I was getting annihilated. On top of that, the tide was coming in quickly. Weipa is like the capital of Croc Country. They are everywhere!!!! Huge saltwater crocodiles who would not care that I was being a wildlife warrior. I had no intention of meeting up with one (interestingly enough, a mine-worker was attacked almost exactly in that spot some three weeks later. He held on to the mangroves while the croc grabbed his legs and did a few death rolls, breaking his legs and pelvis. He was only spared when someone heard his screams and used sticks to beat off the croc). I was in a hurry to get this done for so many reasons.

So we pushed back the sticky-beakers and I then used my glock to deliver the fatal shot My male colleague had offered to step in at this point but I had started the job and I was going to finish is, despite a rather uncomfortable act to carry out. It was over in a flash and I for one felt fine about what I’d done. And then it started unravelling….

The boss in Cairns contacted the bigger boss in Cairns and told him what had happened. The bigger boss wasn’t happy … the first boss reneged and pretended he didn’t give us permission to do it. The first boss and I had some pretty heated words. Then they had a meeting. The biggest bosses in the north all got together and had a further ‘meeting’ about the death of the dolphin. They wanted to avoid a media scrum, potentially labelling us as heartless Dolphin Killers. My dubious act coincided with some random dolphin pup that had been found slaughtered at the Gold Coast the same weekend apparently. Similarities could be found apparently (what the actual fuck??!!!). Someone might find The Body and carry out an autopsy and determine that we shouldn’t have shot it. The stupidity of the information being fed up to us was mind-boggling.

So these meetings took place in the glass offices of the city bosses while I sat at home, half laughing and half fuming at the ridiculousness of it all. I had been involved in far worse situations where my own safety was at high risk – and had less involvement with bosses. The dolphin was certainly getting its fair share of posthumous attention. At first light I trekked back to the scene of the mammal-homicide and Rob and I dug a giant hole and buried the said ‘victim’ in order to hide the evidence. Job done. We never spoke of it again…

And that, my friends, is the Dolphin Incident. The only thing I have ever shot and killed…

#2 – The Last Fight

I have had some pretty good blues in the police – and I mean some pretty darn good ones! There was the time I arrested that awful woman who was doing her business in the middle of a suburban road – and she bit me like a rabid dog as I was cuffing her! That one stands out because I can remember sobbing in the loos when no one was looking. Most have been the almost-expected result of wading into a DV or wrestling grog off those that don’t want to give it over. On pretty much my last operational shift as a copper in Cape York, we did the usual drive-by of the only respectable place to drink late, being the local Golf Club. As per usual there was a large group of mainly late teens/early 20’s/late 20’s/early 30’s…. milling around outside. As per usual, a lot of them called out “gdday” and some stopped for a yarn. We were there to dissuade people from drink driving and to fly-the-flag and let them know we were still awake.

As we completed all of our official duties from the front seat of the Troopy, a really strange thing happened. A nicely dressed, relatively ‘normal’ looking (you learn to categorise levels of normality as a copper) lady walked slowly up to the front of our vehicle. She looked right at us as she took hold of the very long and very necessary long-range aerial, and then she completely bent it over and pretty much ruined it. We were gobsmacked. Even had a laugh at how ridiculously blatant she was.

I got out of the car and called out to her. She simply turned around and began walking away. I didn’t know whether to laugh or yell at her – it was just so bizarre. So I walked up behind her, as she wasn’t even walking away fast, and I tapped her on the shoulder. At that point, this ‘lovely’ lady turned around and delivered a hay-maker punch straight to the side of my head. It was the most unexpected, unprovoked hit of my career to date and it definitely took me by surprise. I had been indulging in an awful lot of weight training over the past two years so my next move was quick and decisive and I was quite impressed with my own strength. From there it all went downhill and we were surrounded by a ring of half-haters, half-supporters – all pretty pissed. We got out of there as quick as we could and the cheeky minx had a crash-course on how not to treat officers of the law. She rang to complain later but not at all about the hands-on lessons she learned – she complained only that we lost one of her thongs during the arrest process. Go figure.

It was an apt and funny end to my stint as a Cape York Copper.

And then we moved to that funny little place called Katherine. Well I did, and the kids, while Rob lived it up at the NT Police Academy. Unfortunately, our furniture and car didn’t arrive for another 6 weeks due to being literally left on the side of the road in Cape York for a couple of weeks – forgotten about by the transport company – and secondly because it got stuck in the flooding through Qld. So the kids and I camped out in a unit and I borrowed the complex’s transport van to trek us around. I found out that the seatbelts were faulty on the first school drop off when I went to the back to get Benji out of his car seat only to find that he was literally hanging upside down, still strapped in, when the seatbelt failed to retract. Little bugger was red in the face but hadn’t even cried while driving upside all the way to the school.

With no house and no furniture or car, it was pretty easy to plough through the last bit of my studies and I made a decision to start an outdoor bootcamp. I didn’t know a soul in the NT and I had no idea where to even start with this little idea. But I ran with it and started advertising here and there. My qualification was due to be signed off on July 3 and my first bootcamp was about a week later – just enough time to organise the insurance. I had an awful lot of enquiries and I started feeling a little bit queasy about the whole idea. I had no experience with running any bootcamps, I hadn’t really been to any and I didn’t even really like group fitness. What a fraud!! But I just felt in my bones that this was the right thing to do. I spent hours and hours and days and weeks planning out the sessions and I decided that I wanted to make it measurable. I wanted some sort of testing that could be worked on and re-tested at a later date. So my first test would be a nice easy one. The good old Beep Test.

On night one of the Katherine Ladies Bootcamp, I sat under the tree an hour early and I literally started shaking with fear. About 15mins before the start time, the ladies started arriving. And more came. And more. And more. 48 in fact. All looking to me for guidance and leadership. I went around the corner, gave myself a stiff uppercut and then arranged these mammoth group into one huge long line and they did the beep test – much to their horror. And from there we carried on into a solid hour of bootcamp fun! And we did all again on the Thursday. And we carried on doing it for 2 years. I loved that bootcamp!!! Really loved it. I never cancelled or postponed a session – ever. It was my pride and joy and I met some of the best people in the world.

We eventually opened up to blokes and entered teams into the Fun Runs and other events. The friendships I made have lasted. I truly believed in what we did each Tuesday and Thursday and it became so popular that we ran all through the holidays and even threw in a Saturday morning HIIT for fun. My Tuesday numbers were always high – with a regular 30 being quite common. Thursday was the quieter night with 10-20 regular contenders. The recipe for success was what I had learned in my working life. Stick to things you actually believe in. Organisation is the key to confidence. And keep it real. The only exercise I ever asked of them that I couldn’t do myself was Double-Unders. And I still can’t do them!!

Here's a link to a video taken of the first few weeks of my precious bootcamp;

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Lk3CQrsWNBc

The reason this whole blog has any relevance whatsoever to my training is because the fact that I was suddenly spending all of my working hours helping others to achieve their training goals. It left me feeling somewhat lost – and that’s when I decided it was time to make my own goal.

That decision led me into a world I didn’t even really know existed.

Look out for Part 3…. I’m too tired to keep going on this one tonight.